A week ago marked my one year anniversary in my current job position in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). The job was a longtime goal of mine and actually having it in my grasp seemed so improbable and wonderful at the same time. I spent the first few months immersed in the world of critical care. The unit seemed big and the nurses grouchy and all the information impossible to comprehend. The acronyms and medical mumbo jumbo rolled off the tongues of the staff much faster than I could ever understand them. I spent most of my time asking ceaseless questions: where do I find this item? why are we doing that? what does this machine do and why? what is that drug for? what does that mean? we are going to do what at the bedside?

      One year later I am still often overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility and activity that occurs within the walls of our little unit. The nurses are a bit more friendly and the words and procedures more familiar, but the job is not all it is cracked up to be. While I truly enjoy the position it does not hold the attraction and draw that it once did. I love the constant learning and being frequently presented to new and different cases, but I find that even in this there is not satisfaction.

“Indeed, I count everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him….” Philippians 3:8 ESV

“There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment?” Ecclesiastes 2:24